Your name is Ralph and you are an Ex-SOLDIER member, now a mercenary hired by AVALANCHE, as they quest to save the planet from the evil ShinRa...

All right, what we have here is a random brainchild that came about as a result of talking with *Ralphy-Leone. Apparently, a certain SOMEONE named the characters in his FFVII game after himself and some of his friends *coughtifakrynncough*. This resulted in a bit of talking that ended with the two of us thrusting a few of our other friends into the rest of the FFVII cast.

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Edit 05/11/09: I should probably have added this when I first made this journal, but here it is now: No offense is meant to any of the persons portrayed in this parody. Everything here is for fun. Also, a quote for the formerly quoteless Vincent and fix'd Soul's One Quote to Rule Them All. And why yes, this means I will be spamming your devwatch with this same journal every once in a while. Also, still looking for a Red XIII.

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So far, here's the cast list:
_{Note: Credit for most of this goes to Ralphy.}

AVALANCHE/Main Party

- Cloud Strife (As Ralph)
Some quotes:
+"Not fucking interested!"
+"I've got a few things...to settle with you. Maybe in a formal debate but since we're in an action game, I'm forced to face you."

- Tifa Lockhart (As Krynn)
Some quotes:
+"Mako...ShinRa...SOLDIER.....DO NOT WANT!"
+"Ralph, plz remember our promise D:"

- Aerith Gainsborough (As Beso)
Some quotes:
+"Excuse me, sir...? Would you like to buy a flower!? They're only a million gil ea--I mean, they're only one gil each!"
+"You know, Ralph, I kind of wonder what's the point of this whole date crap and all, I mean, it's not like I'm gonna survive past this disc--oops, just the Lifestream talking."

- Barret Wallace (As Natter)
Some quotes:
+"But Ralhp, teh plnets dieng!"
+"Look, the surface...This city deosnt have day or nihgt D: If olny taht plate werent tehre."

- Yuffie Kisaragi (As Hikari Victoria Vicky)
Some quotes:
+"Wait, what was I stealing again?"
+"...Defender of Genny...erm, Wutai, Vicky!!"

- Cid Highwind (As Soul)
One Quote to Rule Them All:
+"SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THAT CHAIR AND EAT YOUR GODDAMN CHOCOLATE! ....or give it to me!"

- Cait Sith (As Den Sith)
Some quotes:
+None yet.

Sylvie - Vincent Valentine (As Sylven)
Some quotes:
+"Waah...sleepy..."

Currently missing someone to play as Red XIII. Any ideas?

Other

- Sephiroth (As Authoroth)
Some quotes:
+None yet.

Delibear - Jenova (As Delova)
Some quotes:
+"IMMA STEALING YOUR BRAIN."

Golbez - Zack Fair
[Yes, you read this right.]

THIS IS VERY MUCH UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

Comments? Suggestions? Like the idea? Hate it? Comment away, poppets!